hello website world ! its been a minute !

so big news! i got a job finally!!! yippee!!!!! that is why i have not been updating much here. but it is a good outlet that requires less effort than art does. maybe not less actually but a slightly different flavour of effort. ANYWAYS!!

i work in a bar now, which is not the job i mentioned i got an interview for last time. they rejected me in favour of my friend (LMAO) i'm genuinely not upset about that but i do think its very funny. another thing about having a job is that i have Money now which means i can buy little treats when i'm having a terrible horrible no good very bad shift. like i did today. midtown vinyl on its way to my location very soon (EXCITING) which means i can start blogging about my music collection because i am finally adding to it again!!!

the other day i forgot how much i used drawing as an outlet as well. i was experiencing straight up hysteria for a couple days and then i drew some pictures and i was normal again. crazy that art is something i need to do to stay sane even when the urge to draw is not there.

some more big news! i turn 20 on sunday! how exciting!

i don't think baby me thought i'd be doing this at age twenty. writing this blog entry specifically but also? any of this? i used to think i'd write novels or be a scientist or something. but now i work in a bar. i was setting up a menu on one of the tables earlier and one of the regulars told me "you need a brain to do that!" which. hm. i told him i have half a degree. i don't think any of my coworkers know i make art or music. and i think i'm fine with that actually. that sounds sarcastic but i'm being genuine. one of the girls i work with wants an english degree but the general public see us as not smart enough to do anything but work in a bar. which is obviously incorrect because it takes a lot of fucking smarts to work in a bar as i'm slowly finding out (i'm not very good at my job). what i'm learning about myself is that right now i don't think i need to do anything grand and profound with my life. i would like a job that doesn't make me want to die 24/7 and to make enough money to do things that make me happy, like go to concerts and collect cds and cover my friends drinks. sure in the future i'd like to do something art related, maybe finish my degree, but this is ok. for now. i'm ok for now

i think that's an okay place to be for 20.

until next time spiders dot com forward slash blog,

-red xo